Words like sadness, shame, anger, mistrust, blame, tense, small, lonely, failed… they all cosy up together on the bench of divorce supporting expectations of society. We feel the pain of children, couples and families going through a divorce, it hurts, it is not good and it feels sad and shameful.
So what if there was a way to change the way you view divorce? To make a conscious decision to do things differently? To instead look at your own divorce as a chance to rebirth your life. To be the change and instead of treading the path of negativity, you could instead feel entrepreneurial and opportunistic, free to carpe diem and rebirth your life?
Is life not so short that despite a marriage breakdown we could still have the opportunity to feel and be happy, relieved, reborn, free, lighter, bigger and expanded again?
What if, we all took the word divorce, gave it a big shot of empowerment and self-worth and owned the experience by seeing it as an opportunity to learn, evolve and grow from it.
I realised and understood very early on in my divorce that I had a…
CHOICE and that
◉ I could take a left turn OR right turn
◉ I could say yes OR no
◉ I could get angry OR let that it go
◉ I could choose to learn from this life shock OR I could choose to stay where I was
I could either see my divorce as a chance to see the big blue sky of life beyond my divorce clouds. That I could grow, heal and embrace myself gently and fully. OR I could choose to be small, angry and stay forever in the personal failure pit of blame, shame and despair.
How does a divorce become the chance to rebirth your life? How can you even make that decision when you are feeling desolate, ashamed, guilty, sad, heartbroken? I began to meditate… as much as I could. I gifted myself the space to be quiet, still and I listened to what my inner voice, gut instinct or intuition was telling me. No matter what society feels you ‘should’ do (take that word out and burn it I tell you), ultimately it is you trusting that you have your own back. You may be confused as to how you even got to be in this place – the failure of the decisions you made. Ask yourself this, were the life decisions made based upon your gut instinct or with life conditioning guiding you to do what you felt you ‘should’ do (damn there is that word again).
Divorce is your opportunity to fully have some maybe difficult dialogue with yourself. And for the first time probably ever begin to hear, through meditation – mostly, that you properly know what is right for you and what isn’t. Having an angry divorce supported by society’s mind monkey thoughts is what is expected – but is it what you want, truly?
As you begin to change the way you view and your intention about having a kinder divorce you are incredibly, gently shifting the energy from negative to positive. Whether you understand energy or not, there is nothing more empowering to think more positively and then for life to match your thoughts and a situation to improve.
The first step is a simple letter of intention to yourself – how do you want your divorce to be? Write down every scary, hopeful, out there thought. Affirm to yourself that you can do this, your soon to be Ex may not but you can. It is you who will live with your decisions for the rest of your life, the ones we berate ourselves about, the head under the covers ones and the ones we can ruminate and hold the disappointment of for years. I knew I wanted the rest of my years to be filled with kindness, self-worth and inspiration.
To welcome in the rest of my extraordinary life.
What do you choose?
Join my FREE private Facebook group How to be a Divorce Goddess and be part of this positive, supportive and new divorce community. I love this group and would love you to be part of it all. My mission is to change the way society looks at divorce by creating a community of empowered, good and kind divorce trail blazers, way seers and goddesses and who want to do divorce differently!